Lost and Found

Lost: Confidence. Last seen on January 8th at 7pm at Local Showground. Not wearing a collar, answers to the name “I Can Do It.” Please return, no questions asked. Owner is on medication now and needs it back. Huge Reward!

If I had a dollar for every time a client asked me how they could get their lost confidence back, I would be sitting on a beach in Tahiti instead of writing this article. Most people seem to think that confidence is all or none; you have it or you don’t. Once you understand what confidence really is, you can create it any time you want, which beats trying to find something that was not really lost in the first place.

Belief + Focus +Action = Confidence

When we were young and learning to walk, we fell a few times before getting it right. At that age, we were resilient and our eloquent self–talk had not hit the scene yet. After time and a little practice we figured out how to stand on our own two feet. I doubt many toddlers give up and think, “You know what? Once a crawler, always a crawler, this walking stuff isn’t my thing. Somehow we believed we could walk since we saw the ‘big people’ doing it, we were focused on mastering the art of walking, and we took action to make it a reality.

You Have to Believe

Let’s say you want to show in a new event, like Western Riding. You do not have to believe that you will win a World Championship in the next year, but you do need to believe that you can learn how to do it. Before starting anything new, or if you are lacking confidence in a certain area, take a look at what you believe about the situation before moving forward. Once you are confident in your belief, then you are ready for step two. Oh, by the way, your belief should not be that you are confident that you can’t do something, you need to believe that you can.

Focus are you there? It’s me calling...

Think of focus as what you are paying attention to. Every moment of every day, you are paying attention to something. When things go awry, the first thing you want to check is where you are placing your attention. Are you focused on the process or the outcome? Are you noticing what is going well, or what isn’t working? Are you paying attention to what is going on around your, or are you consumed with your own internal dialogue? Most issues and problems arise due to incorrect focus; you are simply paying attention to the wrong thing at the wrong time.

In today’s fast paced world filled with Blackberry’s, iPhones and other small distraction devices, being able to maintain focus on the task at hand is getting much harder. I would like to invite you to take the ‘Be Here Now’ challenge. What that means is that your attention is placed on what you are currently doing.

When you are riding, focus on riding. When you are working, focus on work. When you are with friends and family, focus on them, not the person you are texting. When you are driving, focus on driving. When you decide to pay attention to what you are doing when you are doing it, you may find your life seems to flow a bit better and you can get more done with less stress and effort.

Focus on How, Not When

Just like you did when you learned how to walk, you did not quit. The same goes for your riding. If you are committed to the sport, then so what if it takes you a little longer to master the art of lead changes or showmanship patterns. You are in this for the long haul, so enjoy the journey and don’t set time limits on your performance. Accept where you are right now, and know that over time, you will become the rider you want to be.

Lighten-up, Laugh and Learn Your Way to Success

I have a feeling when you were learning to walk nobody said you were a complete idiot because you fell a few times. If you look back, you may remember that most people were encouraging you when you got it right and ignoring or even laughing at your mistakes. I also have a feeling that you did not keep charts and graphs of how many times you fell, and reminded yourself of that daily. If you mess up, so what? Just Lighten up, laugh and learn what you need to and then move forward. After all, life is too short and riding is far too important to take seriously.

Take Action - One Step at a Time

Here is where a good trainer or coach can come in handy, but if you don’t have one, the process is the same. Sit down and assess where you are now in terms of your riding abilities and performance. Then take a look at what you need to work on and master to become even better. For example, if you do horsemanship, you will want to look at all of the components that go into a pattern and determine your strong points, and your biggest areas for improvement. Perhaps turns and circles are your strong point but you need to be more precise when doing transitions. Each time you practice, start off doing the things that you do well, and then move on and work on one or two of your improvement areas. While you are riding, mentally track what is going well and at the end of each ride, take time to recognize the fact that your hard work is paying off by celebrating the small wins of the day.

Learn to walk before you run

Just because your horse can doesn’t mean you have to. One of the biggest confidence killers is doing an event or competing before you are ready. If your horse can jump 4’0 but you have not mastered a course of cross rails, consider delaying your debut in Equitation Over Fences until you know you can do it. Be honest about your current ability in a certain event and then use the one step at a time exercise to create a road map to get you where you want to go.

Bring it on!

A few years ago, I rode at a barn where my trainer and her family lived. I could never figure out why her kids would always decide to play NASCAR in their go carts, hunt chipmunks with their pellet guns, and the dogs would chase rabbits in the bushes at the exact moment when I would get on my horse to ride. At first it really bothered me, but then I realized that if I could get through this at home, then the occasional tractor going by or bleacher stomping would seem like nothing. The more you practice and maintain your focus in distractions, the better off you will be. You will learn to trust your ability and your horse in any situation, and that just might be the biggest confidence booster of all.

_{^{Kirsten Farris is a monthly contributor to GoHorseShow.com and a Certified Sport Consultant, Certified Equestrian Fitness Trainer, and the Author of The Workbook for the Equestrian Athlete - A Guide to Showring Success. For more information contact her at: kirsten@equestrianathlete.com © 2010}}